Dear person who needed to stare twice

The first look you gave me - a once over to understand why i dont fit your vision for a jewish girl-its annoying but fine i get it.Im different i dont fit the exclusive dellusional mold of “perfect girls”

The second look is the one that makes me want to kill you.The pity,the double glance at my chair as if i didn't know what you were pitying me for in the first place.

The first time you walk by me you shy away as if i was contagious.Fine ignorance hurts,but accepted as it  can be healed with education.

The second time you walk by- you gain what you think is courage to talk to me.I roll my eyes on the inside knowing whats coming next “ Refuah Shelaima,may god heal you soon.”

The first thought that goes through my head is “not again,not another person who instead of seeing a thriving person using a chair to fly in life sees a broken person that needs to be fixed.

The second thought that stays in my head for a while is why am I always looked at as broken and need to be fixed?? Why am I broken? Because I’m different,unique??

The first time I push myself around to calm down, all I see is red,and fustration and tiredness.Im tired of being misunderstood,Im tired of being pitied.

The second time i push myself around I push myself faster and try to realize the worlds view of me is what is sick and needs to be changed,and I’ll have to fix it because im already 100%.