19 Lessons I learned from 2019

These are lessons I learned along the year of 2019, which was a whirlwind of ups and downs and full of lessons.


  1. Lean in and feel the feelings, its the only way to process and grow.
  2. The darkness (both in the feeling and process) always leads to stronger and longer-lasting light.
  3. When your mind tells you you've reached your limits, pause, listen, figure out if its fear of failure, and when it is; pause breathe and push forward.
  4. Self-acceptance doesn't equal self-love, rather opens the door for that process to start.
  5. Acceptance isn't complacency rather an important tool for change.
  6. Family exists, their acceptance and love doesn't determine your worth.
  7. Asking for help doesn't make people think less of you, rather it gives new options to connect.
  8. Sharing your pain and fears in a healthy way doesn't hurt healthy people, rather it builds bonds.
  9. When you build inner boundaries, the lack of them surrounding you doesn't impact you as much.
  10. The voice in your head telling you not to try and that everyone is watching is lying.
  11. Change and Growth are not linear, you will get to what feels like the same point, but with new tools and from a different view.
  12. Changes are not always constant continuous lines, sometimes they are small dots, keep going dots make pictures too.
  13. Cry. Let yourself be vulnerable and cry. Instead of leading yourself into an illusion of processing feelings by trying to block them out.
  14. The lies society spins about psychiatric medications and hospitals are just that-lies. The help is worth breaking through those societal barriers
  15. Respect the need for pauses both from mind or body, but let it just be a pause and not a full stop.
  16. You are what you say you are, so stop saying you aren't anyone worth saving and sharing with the world what you are.
  17. Keep trying to love yourself, in different ways at different times, never give up on yourself.
  18. Asking for help to save your own life is hard but makes living so much easier.
  19. It's really hard to save yourself, but not as hard as giving up on yourself.

On to 2020, I am adopting a new idea from someone I follow who gives each year a theme and a word so, wait for the next post to see what they are.
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2020's Forgotten Dreams

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Musings from the Bench